| Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Yesterday was a revelation for me.

Well..
A teary mum was explaining to me how sad she felt that we sometimes don't understand that she is getting old.

I was kinda unhappy that planning always goes to me.
If Moses doesn't plan, there will just be a simple zu chao dinner for anyone's birthday in the family. Of course I want us to be bonded more than just a simple dinner. It's been more than YEARS since we did a real recreational activity with the whole family.
And as usual the burden goes to me.

This time I was kinda flared up because I don't think anyone really bothered about me. So I kinda rebutted her when she asked me to SMS my sister regarding the details.
Ah.. its that kind of 3 minutes retaliation with a 60 minutes talk, as usual I will give in to her.

But what really struck me was when she was telling me about how daddee was complaining about her not listening to handphone rings or taking down the wrong details. She held back her tears and shared about how afraid she was about the future. Imagine herself now still able to walk and do stuff and he is already complaining about little things, what if one day she is not able to walk anymore and bedridden, will he still want her?

This is a shocking truth you see. I did not realize that before until she tells me. The fact that I was always surrounded by young and energetic people deluded me in thinking that my very own parents are still the same. You can consider them senior citizens and I have not for once thought of how they will be like as they goes with age.

I am quite disappointed with myself. Yeah going 23 in a few days time and yet not such realization have dawned upon me.

*************************
Created at 10:25 PM
*************************


| Monday, November 08, 2010


Lol, you cannot imagine while I was doing push ups just now, all the stress-filled words just came out of my mouth while I was "groaning"

And so, previously (one semester ago) I was writing about my upcoming semester being tough. Well, its over now.
You cannot imagine how tough it was juggling a ministry and custode while going for lessons and projects.
Amazingly I got to thank God for that.
Managerial accounting wasn't very good. I've only shared with a few people who have time to sit down and listen to me talk. I was very confident about it but it came crashing on me with the exam fatigue and lack of preparation. Alright I won't crap about how I don't have enough time for preparation because its all just excuse. Don't talk about High Distinction or Distinction now.. I think will get a mere credit for it.

I wonder how many people in my life have been willing to sit down and listen to my troubles and yanking. I have usually always been the one giving advices / teaching people how to / listening to troubles. I guess it becomes a habit to keep the real troubles within myself. Still, I wish for a soul mate who prompts me to share with them my troubles..

How many of us will choose to prompt others to share out of care and concern?
Not many that I know of. Perhaps 2 that I can think of right now and they aren't exactly the closest friends I have. Probably everyone just "hopes" all is fine when you are showing a laughing face.

Talk about masks, I think I have 3 masks.

How will my holiday become? I do not know. I have no one to share it with. Still have to coordinate the caroling which is to come on 24th Dec. AGM, year forecast, new roles, recruitment, formation, training, bonding for the ministry.
Haven't get a chance to meet up with Benjamin to plan for the chalet schedule and activities.

Somehow I'm not even excited about my own birthday. Esther was shocked and kinda touched when I told her I'm coming for practice on the 13th. Though I was kinda embarrassed when I could see tears coming out in her eyes, I could not help feeling that my birthday isn't that important to begin with. I mean that the practice places a higher priority and my free time is just for my birthday whoever wans to celebrate with me.

Yeah, even my family was disappointing. Everyone's birthday goes with me planning for them. Even on my birthday, their excuse was "you know where to go mah. You have been to many places, so you can decide better." Sad to say you just didn't bother to find out. Its not an excuse lah. It kinda turns me off. So I had to plan again. Yes again. Morning church, then dim sum at Red Star, then we go fly kite at marina barrage. Sian. Not even interesting when I plan it myself.

Even Fang also gave me that crap. Stanley is coming back from overseas and he asks to meet up. First thing Fang replied was, "Nvm, just ask Momo to plan can already."

Alright this does it. I will not plan anymore. You all ingrates. Never heard a word of thank you. No affirmation at all.

I just noticed my blog posts are usually gloom and doom and emo nemo. That is probably me sharing my troubles with the monitor that I'm look at right now.
YES YOU THERE WITH THE 22-INCH FACE!

*************************
Created at 10:41 PM
*************************


Profile


Name: Moses a.k.a momo

momo-pedia

Credits

Moses Lee

Create Your Badge
Archive


December 2005[x]
January 2006[x]
February 2006[x]
March 2006[x]
April 2006[x]
May 2006[x]
June 2006[x]
July 2006[x]
August 2006[x]
September 2006[x]
October 2006[x]
November 2006[x]
December 2006[x]
January 2007[x]
February 2007[x]
March 2007[x]
April 2007[x]
May 2007[x]
June 2007[x]
July 2007[x]
August 2007[x]
September 2007[x]
October 2007[x]
November 2007[x]
December 2007[x]
January 2008[x]
February 2008[x]
March 2008[x]
April 2008[x]
May 2008[x]
June 2008[x]
July 2008[x]
August 2008[x]
September 2008[x]
October 2008[x]
November 2008[x]
December 2008[x]
January 2009[x]
February 2009[x]
March 2009[x]
April 2009[x]
May 2009[x]
June 2009[x]
July 2009[x]
November 2009[x]
December 2009[x]
January 2010[x]
February 2010[x]
March 2010[x]
April 2010[x]
May 2010[x]
June 2010[x]
July 2010[x]
November 2010[x]
December 2010[x]
January 2011[x]
February 2011[x]
March 2011[x]
April 2011[x]
May 2011[x]
June 2011[x]