I Want That Star

| Sunday, October 07, 2007

ever since i went into the NS life, i find myself having the same dread every sunday. then same dread when i 1st enlist.

last sunday was really touching for me as in the morning during church. for some reason i felt very touched during mass service and for many times i felt tears boiling up but managed to kept them in place. i felt so much like going back home and i really felt very peaceful there. felt much more shiok than booking out 100 times.

really. i tink my faith in the religion have grown alot. especially when u keep reminding that no matter where u go, be it Tekong far from ure parents' wings or some shitty camps, or alone at home, God is always there to listen to u and will not abandon u.

in the past, i could be alone for a week and nothing goes wrong.
but now, if i dun talk to anyone familiar i will feel extremely lonely. i do hope im not falling to depression. i kept having these feelings becos the situation for me now is still very unstable, not yet posted to any "confirmed" camp.

i find myself clinging to any scent of familiarity i can find. be it fellow OOTs in the new camp or keep sms-ing.

i also find myself extremely quiet at times(as the new Private told me as well as some Sergeants). the only reason i can give myself is that either i dun feel like talking, too tired to talk, trying to adapt to the environment as fast as i could (though i noe i take some time), observing everything.

example will be the 1st book out after 2 weeks of confinement. sergeant was asking me how come im so quiet in the bus. the reason i came out with is becos im already thinking of book in day..

but in true fact, i was worrying over my future. say for those still in training, at least they noe they will have schedules for the 3 months while im dangling like some thrown little kittens.

the only comforting thing i can remind myself is that of from suling, "wat cant kill u will only make u stronger." i believe this is the 1st time i feel so depressed and will probably learn how to deal with it in the future. As a better man.

anyway, i felt much better after chatting in msn with Jason currently and blogging my feelings out. im really sorry if my blog is always about these kind of things. things will probably get better after i've adapted to the unit and have more frens in there.

as quoted from Jason "every move is a form of discipline, that's what i know.... you dun always get the things you want in life, just have to look at the things you have, and turn them to something better"

i believe this is really good advice though i tink its hard for me currently with all the bad negative thoughts.

had really fun time yst with the usual gang. dinner at Changing Appetites.
the food is so-so but the service is really bad.

my fren ordered soup of the day but the soup doesnt come until we requested for it and he had already finished half of his main course. when the soup come, the spoon does not. when my main course come, my fork does not

when the food arrive, the waitress herself also dunnoe which plate is wat food. we ordered things like cheese chicken, bacon chicken and when they serve us, we ourselves do not noe which is which since its our 1st time. how can they expect us to recognise the food?

so after awhile we started talking about ghost encounters in Tekong.
for the weak hearts, u can avoid reading on.

this happens in my bunk. Viper platoon 3 section 3 bunk.
bed 13 is empty.

the encounters -
- my buddy on the 2nd night felt someone kicking his bed from my side. obviously its not me as im not that energetic during the night.

- i hear shuffling of sandals during the night. could be some human walking in the middle of 2am i dunnoe.

- me and my buddy saw a dark figure leaning on the table while sitting on the chair at 4am around there. we tot is the muslim going for breakfast but after confirming with him its not him. i kept quiet about it until my buddy decided to talk about it and i found myself in the same shoes.

- kiat boon found 2 strands of long hair. long hair. which recruit got long hair? not even the officers and sergeants

- there was 1 night i woke up due to some really heavy stitch on my abdomen like someone pushing a fist on my abs. its worse than those stitch after sit-ups. then i try to turn side ways and after some hard effort, turned sideways and the feeling just disappear straight away.

- after i posted out on thursday, heard from WeiLiang that James alarm clock during the night goes off every hour. 1am , 2, 3, 4, 5 and so on.

of cos there were more in other areas and other companies and other units. damn. things like candy wrapper ghost also got.

heard from a private that in sungei gedong camp sometimes during this stretch of road, those prowling guards will encounter this dead body wrapped up like a muslim burial. and it will move towards u and bow before u. u are prolly forced to unwrap it and see and smell everything inside. if u ran away from it, u should noe wat will happen.

heard also for the company that faces the SOC area sees things on it. got 1 fella saw a girl combing her hair on top of this pyramid ladder. so he find it strange and while pointing it, turn his head to call to his bunkmates to come look. after he turn his head back out of the window, he saw the whole thing infront of his face. yeah he pee-ed on the spot and his bunkmates never got to see anyTHING at all.

also cases of lights going off in diagonal bunks and flickers together including the armskote room also happen.

the few worse is from the ammo dump area where the guards sometimes have to prowl. is indeed haunted. one of the cctv is black but during the night when the guard on it, will see a figure floating towards the CCTV and knock against the CCTV and after that, the CCTV goes black white u noe those PSSSSSTT sound? then the guard just faster off the CCTV.

of cos theres more in the jungle. missing ppl and extra faces in photos.

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Created at 8:56 AM
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